My experience of EUPD

I always doubted myself, I forever wanted to be liked and accepted, believing that these were life’s essentials to make me happy.  I never really thought about who I was or what my purpose was in life, but all that has changed recently.

I was diagnosed with having traits of EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder) around 3 years ago, and with this diagnosis came a lot of questions…

Why have I lived the life I have?

Why have made decisions on many things, that were bad for my wellbeing?

Why do I spend my time trying to fit into a world where I feel don’t I belong?

So, with my mind ticking, I set about educating myself on the real Amy.  What is it that makes me tick? What is it that brings anxiety to my life?

And what is it that causes me to question everything about myself, comparing my life to others and not appreciating the blessings I have in abundance?


I started to research practices that could help in answering my questions. I found that CBT, mindfulness and positive psychology can be beneficial, so I began to practice these techniques in my daily life. Through doing so, I started to notice and appreciate the little things in life that others may miss; like how the birds tweet at 6am, waking me up for the day and how music can lift my mood almost instantly. I stopped being so hard on myself for putting myself first at times and I was kind to myself in ways I’d not been before. I gave up alcohol for the most part, only drinking on occasion and instead of going out at every opportunity, I saved myself for big festivals or events, where my soul would come alive, and I’d feel at home surrounded by like- minded people who want to share love and positivity. I began to travel the country, with my children, or my friends and met people from all walks of life who fed my inquisitive mind and gave me a hunger to see the world through my newly found fresh eyes.


I have lost touch with some people through my change in lifestyle, but I have figured out who I am and where I fit along

 the way and for that I will sacrifice again.

More recently I have taken an interest in meditation, spirituality and nature. I have swapped my weekends in the house (thanks to lockdown making this the norm) for adventures in the countryside and I am amazed at the beauty we have around us. I am writing this blog whilst on a mini break with my loyal companion Poppy. A year ago, I would never have imagined going away on my own with my dog (and let me tell you I worried the Granny a little bless her heart), but having stayed overnight, hiked a mountain and walked around lake Thirlmere, I am feeling at peace. I have accomplished something, I have pushed boundaries and challenged some of my greatest fears head on. What I have learned on my journey is never to doubt how far you can go. Never set limitations on what you can achieve and always feed your thirst to be the best you that you can imagine. I still have a way to go, but I’m on the right track and now I know where I will be headed when I feel I’m struggling with my mind.

Throughout my own journey I have also been lucky enough to secure employment in which I can help others to improve their mental health and wellbeing. I am so passionate about mental health and wellbeing, knowing only too well the torment one can have with their own mind. I am so grateful that I can use my own experiences to encourage others to take the first steps into recovery and I hope my journey inspired others to step outside their comfort zone and reach for the stars.